My Life Right Now

"It is no one's fault, but my own. Every decision I made in the past, has influenced my present conditions."- Kenneth Weins

In 2003, I was attending Mclennan Community College (MCC.) I was studying youth counseling. Halfway through the semester, I realized that my heart was not in the topic any more. I did not care for college. I wanted to drop out but I did not want to look like a quitter. I was looking for a reason (or excuse rather) to drop out and keep my appearance intact. I was looking for a sign from Heaven above. Well, I got it alright. My car caught on fire as I pulled up into the parking space. Back then I viewed it as "I don't have any transportation so I have to quit school." Now, I realize that I could have still finished that semester. I could have rode the bus or bummed a ride from my friends and family. In my mind, I quit before the car even caught on fire. I could have used ANY excuse to drop out. Even if the car did not catch on fire, I would have thought of something else.

Now, it is 2010. I really know what I want to do in life. I am focused! I am determined! I want to go to MCC and study Business Administration. I applied for a full load. I like to brag that I am a full time student. Well, I won't be able to brag this semester. I am on financial aid suspension. I just found that out today (after I already attended a class and bought all of my textbooks. I can return the text books though so that is no big deal.)

MCC told me today that I could pay for my own classes this semester, but the payment had to be in their system two days ago. See, I could blame them for not getting the letter in time. Instead, I think back to 2003 and the decisions I made back then. It is my fault. There are no excuses. It does not do any good to be bitter and pass blame (that does not solve life's problems.) Now I have to move on to plan B. I have to find a job that will last me until January. Maybe I will get to go to school in the spring. Maybe I will appreciate my opportunity more now. Maybe I will focus even harder on my GPA. Maybe I will land a better job (due to a higher GPA) after graduation.

"When life throws me lemons, I give life the middle finger and keep on moving toward my goal."- Kenneth Weins